I would like to take the time here in this blog to talk about something that I have struggled A LOT with over the years. I still to this day harbor some issues with it. I believe it is an issue that most if not all of us human beings struggle with as well.
So first off, I was talking to a friend of mine the other week. She is kinda going through some health issues that are causing her to feel, well, depressed, tired, lack of energy, solum... We were chatting because she felt bad that she needed to cancel an event we had planned.
Before I talk about my actual response, I want to mention my gut reaction (to show that I am not perfect, never have been, never will be). The "old Courtney" would have been pissed, and sooo bummed at the cancelling of the event. Here is the thing though; I learned some really, really valuable lessons over the last couple years. How I actually responded to her and what my heart really felt was empathy and understanding towards her because I have been there! I to wished that I had friends in my life that when I had to cancel event that they did not get mad but that they switched into support mode.
So when she called to cancel, she was coming from a place of guilt (or so that is what came off to me). I instantly recognized in her something that I have seen many times before in myself. In fact! I felt/saw it today actually! What that is, is the lack of sympathy/understanding and love to ourselves.
Whoa now! before you go painting a ugly picture of me in your head, I dont mean she hates herself. What I mean is she was showing a vulnerable side of herself that I have seen in me and if I were her that is where I would be coming from. You feel me?
Okay look, you may want to go galavanting off and be Mother Teresa to every single person you meet all day long; helping them out with everything they ask. What you are really doing is destroying yourself.
It has been said to me time and time again,
"If you are not 100% yourself, how can you expect to be 100% for someone else."
The analogy here is, if you were on a plane and its about to crash or something goes wrong the O2 masks drop, you are suppose to put yours on first then help someone else.
Why is that?!
Well.... how can you help someone else put their mask on so they can breath if you are passed out cause you did not put your mask on yet?...
The same goes in life. If you can not be fully authentic, true, loving and nurturing to yourself when you need to be....then you most certainly can not be of any help to others!
Think about that for a second....
You get it yet?
So back to my friend. I had a choice when she called, I could either be mean... or I could come from a place of understanding and support her. Because whether she realized it or not for me her call to cancel the events was really a cry for support. She needed to take time for herself and get healthy and she needed to know wholeheartedly that I was not going to judge her or stop being friends or anything as such. So, I showed up supporting her and she felt encouraged to do what was going to be best for her and she did it.
We all are there at some point in our lives where we are tired and need rest; but we feel guilty that people are going to judge us. Well let them. If your body is telling you rest... then you rest!
today I was feeling so tired and on the verge of being super stressed. Instead of rushing home, quickly walking my dog, grabbing my GI and running out the door. I stayed home. Why? because there was NO point in going to BJJ class tonight if I was not going to be 100% for my teammates I was going to roll with.
I showed some self love to myself and it was the best decision!
I hope you see my point in not feeling guilty EVER AGAIN in taking time for yourself. We all need a little time to recharge batteries so we can tackle life with happiness and energy; do not let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Thats all for now folk.... Ya'll come back now ya hear?! haha
Author: Courtney Rasbach
Courtney loves God, nature, horses, homemaking, essential oils, herbs, Yoga, and Natural horsemanship. Learn more about the author in her Bio section.
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